"Junior is our resident goofball, whether it's his mellow tenor voice, facts about maine, or rants on dionne warwick, he'll spice up any concert."

"He's a BEAST (makes animal sounds)."

"Puts all of the knowledge of the world into one small story."

"The group's Ahab: haunted by his internal demons, yet driving us all madly towards the white whale. His monomania derrives, not from the death of his daughter and the loss of his leg, as did Ahab's, but from his battle with gypsies and bizarre mystical connections with Dionne Warwick and Michael Jackson."

"Ralph's a good guy, but both his names begin with a Z, come on, what's with that? He's really bad with names too, but ya can't hold that against him, can ya?"

"Zany
Able
Confucian
Kool"

"Then there were these "gypsies" and they tried to kill us with a liquor bottle."

"Obviously, the Feet missed me so much when I was abroad that in my absence they selected a new member who apart from his appearance (and a few other things) is a carbon copy of me. Watch out for our radio show and subsequent duet cover of "Save the Best for Last" by Vanessa Williams."

"ZZ. He exceeds expectations. As does his homestate of Maine."

"Got caressed by Dionne Warwick and chased by a raving band of gypsies: might as well slow down right now so there's some coolness left for the rest of the world."

"You take one part Dionne Warwick, one part Michael Jackson and mix among the Maine low bush blueberries..."

"As goes ZZ, so goes the nation."

"First man ever to belong on VH1 Diva's Live, and SO damn smoooooth with the ladies. For ser-ser!"